Have you ever been betrayed in a relationship? It’s the hardest thing to overcome!!
And sometimes you just have to walk away…
Let’s dissect this…
Should you go or should you stay? What if you throw it all away and later regret it?
This is the agony and uncertainty in a relationship.
It is one of the most painful events you can experience in a relationship. You have given your heart, opened up your deepest emotions to your partner and he/she has stomped on that trust and vulnerability.
If you and your partner are stuck in the misery of betrayal… you need to take action. Be honest with each other… can you do this?
Do you want to? Either you BOTH need to commit to fixing things or you need to move on to something better.
First, there is the initial devastating slap in the face. Then it all starts to sink in, the dishonesty, the breaking of sacred promises, the awful feeling that everything you believed in was a lie.
In the case of an affair, there’s also disgust and fear. The thought of your partner in the arms of another makes you feel sick.
I must confess, in my case, it was even worse. My husband of 30 years had a child with our next door neighbor. Sadly a child he never wanted, it was up to her to take precautions, he said. So selfish, so egotistical!! I learned who my husband really was after 30 years of marriage.
He once said to me “If you really knew me, you would not like me”…
WOW, he was a great actor and a wolf in sheep clothing. Charming, great smile, and shallow!! I didn’t see it until I did.
There is rage, powerlessness, shock, and sadness.
This blow makes you wonder if you can ever trust this person again, and makes you question your entire relationship.
Think this through:
1. Is your partner truly repentant?
2. Give up on the idea that your relationship can ever be the same.
3. Would you want to re-create the same relationship you had? Probably not!
4. You can begin again… but you can’t go back.
5. If you can move forward, you need to be able to discuss and get clarity on what happened and why?
6. What you think it is, is probably not really the issue.
Some couples can re-create a new relationship, it absolutely takes 2 willing people.
Couples who save their relationship after such a betrayal develop tremendous strength and security from the trials they experienced. If both parties can re-commit there is a chance, if only one wants to save the marriage it will not work.
Be honest with yourself and realize that not all relationships are forever. This is hard to admit. We think we marry for life, but sometimes it is just for a season and there is always a lesson to be learned.
Trust, believe and pray for guidance.